When all else fails. . .

*inspired by Mrs Anderson and her starter assignments

1. Read the directions
2. Try again
3. Read the directions again
4. Try again again
5. Read the directions again again
6. Try again again again
7. Make a paper airplane
8. Chase down the instructions
9. Save instructions from neighbor's dog
10.Make a salad
11. Feed salad to neighbor's dog
12. Sincerely repent
13. Do the chicken dance
14. Stuff the turkey
15. Become a human pretzel
16. Stuff pretzel into turkey
17. Smash computer with hammer
18. Smash calculator (various ways, none good enough)
19. Breathe
20. Yell
21. Scream until your ears pop
22. Find a tissue
22. Press the power button
22. Rewind
23. Become a ninja
24. Meditate on life's deepest mysteries
25. Sleep
26. Learn the ancient art of origami
27. Learn what origami is
28. Cover it in saran wrap
29. Don't worry, be happy!
30. Do the monster mash
31.Use the square root of a hippopatomi to decrease the total mass of a pelican while holding onto a containerless bucket of water
32. Create the SSSSS (Super Secret Super Spy Society)
33. Find your mail (male, if you prefer)
33. Let it slip
34. Restring your toilet
35. Find your meatball
36. Finger paint!!!!!!
37. Read the sign above
38. Use your head, I assure you that you do have one
39. Declare your dislike of spam
40. Walk like a teletubbie/penguin
41. Just keep swimming
42. Make a space
43. Play ping pong
44. Slam it. Whatever 'it' is
45. Hold it upside down. Shake it.
46. Ride your spoon to school
47. Push the big red button that says 'do not press'
48. Proclaim it to the world
49. Hide
50. Wear your pants on your head and run around in a circle while flapping your arms and shouting 'I believe I can fly. I think I can, I think I can!!!!' and jumping periodically

If you are still failing, it is because you have unsuccessfully done each item on this list. Try again.
If you are still failing, it is because you have wasted a half hour reading this meaningless list while your brain has been slowly melting to mush. It feels good I know, but try to get it jello-like again soon.
Hoping to see you in a sane state!

♥/ Soiltoes